Meet Kaya Colin,MSW,PMH-C
Online Couples Coaching for LGBTQ+, Polyamorous and Kink-Affirming Partners
As a therapist turned couples coach who has crossed borders myself, I work with LGBTQ+, polyamorous, and kink-affirming partners navigating relocation, political stress, and major life transitions worldwide.
I have particular depth working with couples who are also parents, raising children while building life in a new country. Parenting under stress can intensify protective patterns quickly.
Whether you are parenting or not, I help you understand what is happening between you and build the skills to repair conflict instead of repeating it.
I want you to truly hear this:
Relationships grow through repair, not perfection.
For LGBTQ+ couples, including queer, polyamorous, and kink-affirming partnerships, navigating relocation, immigration stress, or political uncertainty can intensify protective patterns. When safety, belonging, or legal stability feel threatened externally, your nervous systems react internally.
Most arguments are not about the surface issue. They happen when two protective strategies collide. One partner moves toward connection by pushing, explaining, or seeking reassurance. Another stabilizes by withdrawing, going quiet, or shutting down. In polyamorous systems, those reactions can ripple outward quickly. Everyone is trying to create safety, but the pattern escalates instead.
These responses were shaped long before this relationship. Under stress, your nervous system moves fast. The conversation stops being about the dishes, the visa paperwork, or the third partner. It becomes about safety, belonging, and being understood.
In our work, we slow these moments down in real time. We make the pattern visible without blame. You learn how to pause, take responsibility for your impact, and respond from a steadier place so repair becomes consistent and reliable.
How I work
Understanding your patterns in real time.
When tension rises, whether around parenting, immigration logistics, political pressure, or shifting roles in a new country, we slow the moment down and look at how each of you is responding and how it lands.
For couples raising children, stress compounds quickly. Sleep loss, divided attention, and external instability amplify protective strategies. One partner may push, pursue, or escalate. Another may withdraw, shut down, or disengage. Both are trying to create safety. The impact, however, often creates distance.
We name those patterns directly and without shaming. We look at what each response protects and what it costs the relationship.
In polyamorous or multi-partner systems, we track how one reaction impacts the entire relational system. Accountability matters in every relationship. When multiple bonds are involved, the ripple is wider.
From there, we practice different choices in real time. You learn how to regulate, own your impact, and respond in ways that support connection instead of repeating the cycle.
The goal of online couples coaching is not to eliminate conflict. It is to build consistent repair so your relationship remains steady for you, your children, and your family as you navigate change.
Over time, you argue differently. You repair faster. You trust the relationship to hold under stress.
coaching with me is…
01 Direct
We work with what is happening between you, especially under stress, transition, or uncertainty. That means naming patterns, impact, and responsibility clearly and without shaming. We do not avoid hard moments. We make them workable.
02 Accountable
Sustainable change requires ownership. Each partner examines their protective strategies, how they land, and what they contribute to the cycle. In polyamorous systems, we also track how choices affect the broader relational field. Accountability builds steadiness. It is not about blame.
03 Relational
We focus on the space between you and what unfolds there under stress. We track how you respond to one another in real time and how parenting, relocation, political pressure, or community loss influence those moments. Change happens through interaction, not analysis alone.
04 Capacity Building
This work is not about resolving a single conflict. It is about strengthening nervous system regulation, communication clarity, and reliable repair. Your relationship learns how to stay connected through change instead of fragmenting under pressure.
My background
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Certifications
Certified Relational Life Therapy Coach, Relational Life Foundation
Certified in Perinatal Mental Health (PMH-C), Postpartum Support International
Certified Brainspotting Practitioner, Brainspotting International description
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Relational & Couples-Focused Training
Relational Life Therapy Levels 1, 2, & 3, Relational Life Foundation
Gottman Institute: Bringing Baby Home, Gottman Institute
Brainspotting Training
Brainspotting Phase 1
Brainspotting Phase 2
Brainspotting Master Class with David Grand
Expansion Brainspotting
Perinatal Mental Health Training
Prevention, Identification, and Treatment of Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders, Perinatal Support Washington
Advanced Perinatal Mental Health Psychotherapy Certificate Course, Postpartum Support International
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Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from Nevada State College (2011)
Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Denver (2013)
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My couples coaching work is deeply informed by more than 15 years as a therapist specializing in perinatal mental health, trauma, and relationships. I am the Executive Director of Femme and Them PLLC, where I lead and supervise a team of associate clinicians and interns providing affirming, relationally focused care.
That experience shapes how I work today. It has given me a clear understanding of how stress, life transitions, trauma, and identity impact relationships, and how meaningful change happens when support is both compassionate and accountable.
